


obnoxious orders

by akechisthickass



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fluff, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Such Dorks, theyre idiots and i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-10 00:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20126632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akechisthickass/pseuds/akechisthickass
Summary: Akechi is that one annoying customer with the most obnoxious coffee order. In return, Akira likes to mess with his name a little.





	obnoxious orders

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this is my third akeshu fic in a week. what u gonna do about it punk?!

**Tuesday**

"Yes, I know I'll get that done for you right away," said the boy in front of Akira, yapping away on his phone.

Akira gave him a once-over. An expensive looking jacket over an equally expensive looking sweater over dress pants. Akira sighed. Whoever he must be on the phone with was probably somebody important, if his seemingly high salary was anything to go by.

"Of course. Yes ma'am!" 

Akira shifted, looking around and thanking whatever deity existed that there was nobody else or else he'd be holding up a whole line. Akira cleared his throat. The boy in front of him paid no mind. He could've at least waited to finish his call before standing up in front of the counter for an hour. Akira followed his gaze that was looking around the coffee shop. He wasn't even looking at the menu!

However, Akira supposed he could sit back and admire how cute the boy in front of him was. He had caramel colored hair that was tied back into a small, low ponytail and pink cheeks that Akira had to resist the urge and squeeze. His eyes were a dark brown that when the light hit them they looked almost red. Akira smirked; exotic. 

The boy stood there for a couple more minutes, examining his well manicured nails and just nodding along to his now seemingly one-sided conversation. 

"Can I take your order, sir?" Asked Akira. 

The boy jolted, now noticing Akira was there. His face flushed and he held his finger up to Akira, turning away slightly. "Yes, Nijima, I'll call you back in a bit. Have a good lunch break." The boy pocketed the phone and gave Akira a sheepish smile. "My apologies."

Akira shrugged. "Seemed like an important call. What can I get for you?"

The boy narrowed his eyes at the menu before answering, "Can I get a nonfat iced mocha with whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle?"

Of course he would get this order. "Who is this for?"

The boy tilted his head in confusion before his lips formed an 'o.' "Akechi."

"Coming right up, Akechi," said Akira with a grin before going to make the drink. 

Akira took the cup and scribbled down: "Akemi" with a self-satisfied smirk and slid it down onto the counter. 

"Akemi!" He called out, watching Akechi look up from his phone in confusion before looking around and noticing nobody else was there.

Akechi took a hesitant step forward, taking the drink and looking at the name scribbled down with a curious frown. He looked up and opened his mouth, then closed it again. Then opened it again. "It's uh..." Akechi trailed off, muttering a thank you before leaving. 

Akira chewed at his lip to avoid the smirk on his face spreading even further. 

**Thursday**

Two days later, and Akechi is back. Thankfully, this time without the needless phone call to hold up the line behind him. 

"I see you're back," commented Akira when Akechi stepped forward to order.

Akechi gave him a small smile. "Ah yes, well, your coffee was rather good..." Akechi muttered something to himself before training his attention back onto the menu. "Can I get a caramel espresso heated only to 100 degrees with nonfat milk and a caramel drizzle?"

Akira scrunched his nose up. This order was even more complicated than the last one. "And who is this for?"

"A-Kech-I," Akechi sounded it out slowly, as if Akira was an idiot.

This pissed him off and gave him a sense of self satisfaction. Seems he didn't forget. He gave Akechi a glance over. His hair was down. 

Very pretty.

Akira nodded, turning around to make the drink and scribbled the name down on a cup: "Akasuki." A female name, hope he won't mind too much.

Akira set the drink onto the counter and called out, "Akasuki!" 

He saw a few people look around curiously. Akechi didn't even look up. Akira stared right at Akechi, hoping he'd stand up soon. "Akasuki!" He called again.

Akechi stood up this time, looking around before noticing Akira was looking right at him. He squinted his eyes at the drink before sighing and standing up. He took his drink without a second glance and left just as quickly. 

Akira felt giddy.

**Monday**

Here is Akechi again. Akira couldn't help but feel a little excited and looking forward to seeing him. Not only was he cute, but it was fun messing with his name. It tested Akira's creativity, after all. 

"A venti pumpkin spice latte with eight shots of espresso, seven pump of pumpkin sauce, and one pump of maple pecan sauce, please," said Akechi, with a small smile twitching at the corner of his lips.

It seems this tested Akechi's creativity, too.

Akira smiled sweetly. "Who is this for today?"

"A-k-e-c-h-I," he spelled out slowly. "Akechi." 

"Coming right up."

Akira thought for a moment before getting an almost downright sadistic grin on his face and scribbled the name down. He called out, "Asphyxy!" He figured Akechi wouldn't catch on immediately so he added, "A pumpkin spice latte for Asphyxy!"

Akechi had an unreadable expression on his face save for the way his eye twitched. Akira barely held it together as Akechi stomped up and snatched the drink and stormed away. Akira let out a small laugh. He was absolutely adorable.

**Wednesday**

_It's been a week since I first met Akechi, huh? _ thought Akira as Akechi came right up the counter. 

"Happy one week anniversary," greeted Akira.

Akechi flushed slightly, ducking his head. "Ah, yes. I suppose I've already been coming here for a week already." He looked up, rubbing the back of his neck. "A venti green tea frapp with a strawberry smoothie base, two pumps of caramel, three espresso shots with whipped cream and a caramel drizzle."

Akira gaped, giving Akechi a once-over. With his fancy coats and suits he certainly didn't seem like the kind of guy who would drink overly sweet shit, but Akira certainly didn't seem like the sort to slowly form a small obsession with the guy with ridiculous drink orders either. Akira sighed, not even asking Akechi for his name. "Coming right up."

Akira looked around before opening his phone and typing in "A words."

Aha. There's a good one. 

Akira leaned against the counter, calling out, "Acajou!" 

Akechi didn't even look hesitant this time as he came up to the counter to get his coffee. "Clever," was all he said as he turned around and walked off.

Akira this time couldn't stop the smile crawling on his face. 

**Thursday**

"An iced coffee with cream, 20 pumps of raspberry, and 20 pumps of mocha."

"Tame today, huh?" Muttered Akira to himself. "Right. Coming up."

"Alkoxy!"

Akechi gave Akira a dry smile as he took his drink.

**Friday**

Akechi did not look like he was having it today. 

He had large, purple eyebags underneath his eyes. He had acne decorating along his hairline. His hair looked greasy and matted, despite the usually gloss and shine he had. He wore a normal pair of jeans and a large, stained sweatshirt. Akira sighed. He felt kind of bad for the dude.

"Black coffee." Was all he said before going and sitting down.

Akira then wondered if Akechi was fucking with him the entire time just as Akira was fucking with him. For a moment, he thought about showing mercy, but then he realized he was some sort of a sadistic bastard and decided that if he relented one time that would mean he _lost _and Akira Kurusu doesn't lose!

"Axeman with a black coffee!" He called out.

Akechi glared daggers at Akira as he snatched the coffee out of his hands and slinked out the door.

Akira almost felt bad.

Almost.

**Monday**

Well Akechi seemed to be in a much better mood today. His hair was combed back into a ponytail in a neatly ironed suit without a single blemish on his face. Akira held back a laugh. Akechi probably wore makeup. 

"What can I get for you today?" He asked as Akechi approached.

Akechi had a large smirk on his face, eyes dancing with mischief. 

You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes before you die? 

Akira's just did as Akechi opened his mouth:

"A venti vanilla sweet cream cold brew with two pumps of vanilla, three pumps of caramel syrup, two pumps of cinnamon syrup, two pumps of hazelnut, two pumps of toffee nut syrup, two pumps of mocha, two pumps of white mocha, two pumps of pumpkin sauce, three pumps of maple pecan syrup, and five shots of espresso please!"

Akira nearly fainted as he gaped at the man in front of him. Akechi gave him a sweet, innocent smile. Akira narrowed his eyes right back before muttering something not even he understood and made the drink. He didn't even write his name down as he slammed the drink onto the counter and called out, "Asshole! A drink right for an asshole!" 

He ignored the looks the other customers and his coworkers gave him.

Akechi strolled up with a kind smile. "Thank you so much," he cooed as he slowly took his drink and strutted out.

Akira ran a hand through his hair, adjusted his glasses, and frowned at how turned on he was.

Perhaps he wasn't a sadist, but some sort of masochist?

**Thursday**

"It's been a couple days," joked Akira as Akechi strolled up to the counter. "Missed ya for a bit."

"Yes well," Akechi sighed. "Work has been busy."

Akira chewed on the inside of his cheek. "What do you do?"

Akechi gave him a curious look, eyebrow raised but answered nonetheless. "A detective."

Akira's eyes widened. So he was fucking around with someone who did law work? Akira pursed his lips. How much did a detective make? He didn't think that they made that much. Akira shifted, fingers drumming on the counter and flashed Akechi a flirty smirk. "A detective, huh?" He leaned forward. "I like a man in uniform."

Akechi chuckled. "I don't wear much of a uniform, but I appreciate the sentiment. Can I order now?"

Akira nodded, leaning back. "Yeah. Sorry."

Akechi gave him a small head-shake. "May I please get a venti salted caramel mocha frappucino with five pumps of white mocha, four pumps of caramel syrup, three pumps of mocha, three pumps of toffee nut syrup, with whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle."

Akira didn't even find he minded the order that much, finding that talking to the detective brightened his mood a little no matter how much of a sadist he seemed to be. "Of course," he said, ducking his head and rushing to make his drink.

Gingerly, he sat the monstrosity onto the counter and called out, "Adzuki!"

Akechi strolled up with a fond roll over his eyes and a small smirk that was slowly growing onto Akira and made his stomach flip. "Do you even know what these words mean?" He asked, taking the drink.

Akira shrugged. "Not really." He flashed Akechi of what was a hopefully charming smile. "That's why I am working as a barista and not a detective, after all."

Akechi gave him a curious look before murmuring a thanks and leaving.

Akira leaned against the counter, giving him a longing and wistful look before his coworker yelled at him to get back to work to tend to the forming line. 

**Saturday**

"I didn't think you came here on weekends," commented Akira as Akechi came up. 

"I didn't think so either," he responded coolly. "But, I found myself wanting to come here."

Akira's face flared up. "Really?" He asked. "What overly sweet coffee may I get you today?"

Akechi laughed. "I'm not in the mood for something sweet for once. Perhaps something as dark as my soul?" He joked.

"Sir, I'm not sure I can get you just a cup of milk," deadpanned Akira.

Akechi giggled and right then and there Akira swore he'd do anything for that sweet sound again. Akechi sighed and looked towards the menu. "Ah, then perhaps just an iced coffee with milk today?"

"Keeping it simple today, bless you," Akira sighed. "Coming right up."

Akechi nodded, going off to wherever he usually sat.

Akira smirked as he scribbled the name down and called out, "An iced coffee for Handsome!"

Akechi jolted in his chair, looking up at Akira with a red face and a flustered expression. 

"Come on Handsome! Get your iced co--"

Akechi lunged forward, trying to silence Akira who simply took a step back and didn't care about the strange looks they were getting.

"That is entirely unnecessary," chuckled Akechi nervously, grabbing his drink. He squeaked out a thanks and hurried out.

Akira skipped back to work.

**Monday**

"A vanilla latte, please," ordered Akechi.

"Of course," said Akira. 

Akira made the drink and called out, "A vanilla latte for Astonishing!"

Akechi came up with the same flustered expression.

**Wednesday**

Akechi came up with a shy expression on his face, perhaps mentally preparing for what embarrassment Akira would put him through that day. He mumbled out an order for an iced coffee and scurry over to his table. 

Akira _made_ the drink and called out, "An order for Hottie With A Body!" Called out Akira.

Akechi came up with a stiff posture and expression. "How embarrassing can you get?" He hissed, reaching for his drink. "These don't even sound even close to my name anymore!

Akira snatched it away, a teasing smile on his face. "I'll stop on one condition."

"What is that?" Asked Akechi. 

Akira grinned, white teeth flashing. "I can perhaps get your number?"

Akechi thought for a moment before grabbing a napkin and a ballpoint pen out of his pocket. He scribbled numbers down and grabbed his drink and briskly walked away.

Akira cheered silently, excited for work ending. 

_Rrrrriing. Riiiinggg. Rrrriiinng._

"_Hello?"_

"Hi, Akechi," greeted Akira breathlessly. 

"_Oh!" _Akira heard shuffling. "_It's...You. The barista."_

"Who else? Don't tell me you hand your number out to just anybody."

"_Not everybody offers me strange deals like that," _chuckled Akechi. "_What is your name, if I may ask?"_

"Akira Kurusu. I'm offended you never looked at my nametag."

"_I have more important things on my mind, Kurusu."_

_"_Akira, please," hummed Akira. "Now, can I get a full name for this order?"

"_Ha. It_'s _Goro. Goro Akechi."_

"What would you like today?"

He heard Akechi hesitating before responding shyly, and almost hesitant, " _Can I get a venti date with Akira Kurusu?"_

"You sure can! Coming right up!" 

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on tumblr if u want it's @a-failed-exorcism


End file.
